that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
