I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize