doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
