yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
