Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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