"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Even my vagina gasped.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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