question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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