I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
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I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
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I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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