I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize