how can u be prego again
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
