Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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