Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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