these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
