I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
