The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize