Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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