We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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