i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
