so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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