i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize