but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
