As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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