your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
