I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
