i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
