I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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