He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
