Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
