Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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