She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
