I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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