So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
