One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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