she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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