There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
