Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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