I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
