im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
The power of my boobs compel you
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
