There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
