We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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