he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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