whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You're a waste of cheezeits
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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