god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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