Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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