what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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