I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize