Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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