You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
