what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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