I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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