just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
