I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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