Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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