I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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