My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Randomize
