Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
