I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
