O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
