I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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