I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
